The Dance

The Dance

Frail and brittle thoughts,

Empty eyes

Of loneliness,

Whispered hopes,

Washed to and fro.

Self doubt in swirling mists

Darken corners

Of her Soul.

Shimmering light

Awakens love,

Gentle Ripples in her heart.

Strengthened hope, 

Upward gaze of radiance bright.

Awkward steps,

Timidly taken,

She walks.

Twirling, laughing,

Arms outstretched.

Joyful dancing 

In brightness gleaming.

Gracefully bounding.

Her tears cascading

Mingle with mine.

In Beauty, peace and courage,

She leaps.

Shame's Journey

Shame's Journey

Mocking glance

Of pounding words

Hollow echoes in my mind.
Soul piercing, fake masks.

Failure.

Scornful sneers,

Icy fingers

Coldly grope my clutching heart.
Revealed agendas.

My Loss.

Wooden smiles

Paint love, concern,

Empty lies of prideful eyes.
Hidden motives born.

Naked.

Lost, alone,

Hopeless despair,

Whispers catch, twirl in heartache.
Murmured prayers. Silence.

Grief filled.

Gentle Light,

Shame cowers low,

Shimmering rays envelop.
Tumbled waters wash.

Hopeful.

Timid steps,

Tender Jesus.

Cloak of darkness, falls forgotten.
Honoured, tall, serene.
I dare,

Courageously.

I hope.

Patty the Homeless Peahen

Patty the Homeless Peahen

Where did she come from? I don’t know. How long will she stay? I don’t know. Where will she go? I don’t know. Strutting gracefully up the street to the end of the cul-de-sac in which we live, came a peahen one day. Young, but fully grown ,we dubbed her Patty. At first we were unsure if she was a female or a young male. She lacked the long and glorious tail feathers of the mature male. Her proud chest was the silky white of a female. Her sudden appearance was around St Patrick’s day, so she automatically received the Irish title of Paddy. She remained Paddy until a friend on facebook easily identified that our Paddy was indeed, a Patty.

Patty is a pretty little peahen. She walks pompously around the cul-de-sac, head held high, calling in her deep, haunting honk as she feeds from one yard to the other. Her emerald neck feathers glisten in the sun as she scratches tentatively for worms and insects. Always her attentive eyes look alternatively between food sources and danger. Her large, grey wings lift her seemingly too heavy body, above any imminent trouble, as she perches on roof tops, cars and balcony railings, honking in panic as she flies. 

Patty is homeless. She doesn’t belong to anyone. She is lonely. Sometimes her trumpeting call is mournful and filled with a longing for her own kind.Each morning as the sun rises in a splash of crimson across the eastern sky, Patty awakens from a neighbours yard of safety, and starts her daily round of searching for food. She spends time scratching and pecking on our front lawn. In sympathy for her plight, we toss the dried cat food scraps on the lawn. Always she is eager to find them and consume them rapidly. As the rising sun warms the front of our neighbours house, Patty roosts regally on the roof of their car, sunning herself contentedly. The afternoon finds Patty lonely once more. She seeks my company, sitting peaceably on our pebblecreted front patio, and listening to our household voices, sensing our companionship. I often take a piece of bread out to her, breaking it up into tiny pieces and dropping it gently by my feet, to be hungrily pecked up by Patty. I talk softly and tenderly to her and she cocks her head comically from side to side as if to understand and in some way communicate back to me. Occasionally Patty wanders far away, plodding along street after street, sometimes calling in a melancholy tone, sometimes eating but always looking. Looking for a friend. Looking for home. Looking for a place to belong. Will she one day find it?

Patty’s plight calls to my mind the deep desire the human heart has for a sense of belonging. We all desire to belong, yet at times we feel lonely, we feel like we are on the outside looking in. The Bible tells us that God fills that need for a deep sense of belonging with His calling on our lives.

1 Peter 2:9 “However, you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people who belong to God. You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

Deut 14:12 For you are a people holy to the LORD your God, and the LORD has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

Do I have my sense of belonging rooted in God? Do I know He has chosen me? Do I realise I am His treasured possession. I belong to God. 

From Anticipation to Disappointment

From Anticipation to Disappointment

A young Korean man named Min-jun stepped off the plane, on a sultry summer’s day at Sydney International Airport, into a new country and into a new life. With much eager anticipation he looked forward to a new beginning leaving behind his broken past in the home land of his birth. Although he spoke English fluently he soon settled into life inside a close knit Korean community within Sydney itself, giving him a sense of family and a sense of belonging in this new country.  The streets of Strathfield, a leafy suburb of Sydney, housed a miniature Korea. There he could receive Korean dental care, Korean medical attention, buy Korean clothing, eat Korean food, shop in Korean supermarkets and have Korean haircuts. Soon after migrating to Australia ,Min-jun met and married a pretty Korean lady and together they attended a vibrant Korean church all within Sydney, Australia. 

Min-jun started his own business in Sydney restoring old wooden flooring, in large spacious homes, into beautifully polished woodwork. Here he met and associated with many caucasian Australians. His English was effortless and he connected with ease with his clients. Although he moved in and out of the Australian culture through work, he maintained a strong network of support and friendships within the Korean community itself. 

Min-jun was still gaining a working knowledge and understanding  of Australian culture, foods, colloquialisms,  social habits and lifestyle when he visit a non Korean, Australian church for worship one Sabbath with his wife. After the service they decided to stay for the delectable pot luck lunch, where there was a vast array of Australian foods to be enjoyed. That’s when he spied it. A large jar of chocolate spread. It looked delicious and inviting and beside it was a loaf of bread. He waited patiently for the grace to be said and then as he picked up a white, plastic disposable plate and cutlery, he headed for that enticing jar. He pulled out a soft piece of bread and with deliberate thought, he layered it thickly and smoothly with delectable chocolate, his mouth watering in heavenly anticipation. Just one bite was enough to fill him with horror. He held in his hands something that did not in anyway taste sweet and delicious to him. In fact it was strong in taste, salty and very disagreeable to his taste buds. At the risk of offending his new found friends he slowly, bite by bite consumed the very detestable slice of bread slathered with a deep layer of what had at first appeared to be chocolate. He went from the heights of anticipation to the depths of disappointment.

Soon Min-jun learned that what he had thickly covered a slice of bread with was in fact an Australian spread called Vegemite. Vegemite is a very dark brown,  Australian food paste made from leftover brewers' yeast extract, with various vegetable and spice additives.It has a salty taste. It is spread thinly and enjoyed tremendously by Aussies from babyhood. Vegemite is an Australian icon and part of our culture, having been around since 1922. 

How often I have been like Min-jun. With enthusiastic earnestness I plan in advance or I look forward to, with hopeful anticipation, scenarios and events and situations. Then suddenly I find myself plummeting to the bottom of despondency as the situation has turned from one of joyful anticipation to frustrating disappointment. 

Did Jesus ever experience disappointments? Does He understand how I feel? Can I come to Him with my disappointments? The Bible tells us Jesus does understand me Heb 4: 15 “ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin.” He himself experienced disappointments. How hard it would have been just to know that one of your close friends would betray you to death? John 13:21” Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” 

When disappointments come my way Jesus knows and understands but He also shows me the way out. It is through the way of praise and rejoicing. Hab 3:17-19 Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places…”

He is Coming!

He Is Coming

Australia is a constitutional monarchy in which the head of my country, through hereditary, is Queen Elizabeth II. Tours and visits by the regal royal family from Britain to Australia are always  occasions  of great excitement as hundreds and thousands of people wait for many hours behind strong barriers to catch a small glimpse of royalty as they gracefully pass by.   

One of my earliest childhood memories was of my fourth birthday. I remember with much fondness the blonde haired doll I received for my birthday. As I lay her down her blue eyes would close. As I picked her up, her blue eyes would open. How I cherished and loved that doll. I remember the importance I felt as I received a *grown up * bed and moved out of my large white wooden cot. I remember who I saw on my fourth birthday. I saw the Queen. She had come to tour Australia during the bicentenary celebrations of Captain Cooks discovery of the east coast of Australia in 1770.  I rode on my father’s strong shoulders amidst the crowds of people who eagerly lined the streets of Sydney to catch just a momentary glance of the beautiful Queen Elizabeth II as she passed by, waving nobly from her long black vehicle. Flags waved and throngs cheered in the excitement of the moment.

In January 1988, Australia commemorated the bicentenary of the first European settlement by the reenactment of the journey of the First Fleet of tall ships . By now I was a new young wife and my husband and I, along with two and a half million Australians, flocked to Sydney’s harbour for a day long celebration. We arrived at 7am in the morning to stake out our claim to one of the best harbour side positions. We were not disappointed as many fine ,wooden, square rigged tall ships  gracefully entered the glittering blue waters of Port Jackson and glided past our wondering eyes. The harbour was buzzing with water craft of all kinds and the skies busy with hovering helicopters and colourful blimps, all vying for the best views of the Tall ships clothed in full white sail, skimming nobly past. In the midst of it all came a smaller vessel surrounded by tight security. Standing refined and dignified at the back of the boat were Prince Charles and Princess Diana, waving charmingly at the crowds. The mass of people loudly cheered and waved back.

Last week I had the pleasure and excitement of seeing  His Royal Highness, Prince William and Duchess Catherine of Cambridge as they toured Sydney. Currently they are on a whirlwind  tour taking in many royal appointments from Sydney to Brisbane, across to Uluru and Adelaide and back to Canberra. Touring with them, though only appearing publicly occasionally,  is the bonny eight month old Prince George. With mounting anticipation we stood patiently  for hours behind metal barriers with hundreds of eager spectators at the Royal Agricultural Society’s annual show. I updated my Facebook status telling of my hope  in catching a view of the aristocratic couple. Security was tense, vehicles were present and manned with engines kept running, Well dressed police on horses and Motor bikes were vigilant. The bomb squad came working their sniffer dog systematically through the royal route. The destination for the regal couple would be the sheep pavilion where they would witness a sheep shearing demonstration and see some of Australia’s finest sheep, wool and woollen products. The media kept up an active live streaming of the event, those in the sheep pavilion were well prepared, rehearsed and ready. Finally the moment came and down the road Wills and Kate purposefully came, smiling and waving and stopping in friendly gesture from time to time to speak with the excited throng. Cheers broke out, cameras were held high and people did all they could to gain a quick glimpse of the passing Prince and Duchess. In all of it I managed to catch that one great photo and with fervour I shared it on Facebook with family and friends, updating my status to tell about the event.

We have a King of Kings and a Lord of Lords, Christ Jesus. Do I look forward with hope and joy and great anticipation in seeing Him? Am I eager about His soon return? Do I plan and prepare and long for the event? Do I share my anticipation of His soon coming with those around me? 

Rev 19:16 “On his robe and on his thigh He has this name written: king of kings and lord of lords.”

Psalms 24:7-10 Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.  Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.  Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory.

Prisoner By Choice

Prisoner by Choice

We currently live in a country town with a menagerie of pets. One of our dogs is a very frisky and a very active fox terrier called Aiko. Aiko has short, wiry, white fur with a large inky, heart shaped mark on her side, that has over the years, morphed into an untidy splotch. Her black ears comically flop over her adoring, tawny face and her endearing eyes melt the hardest of hearts. Aiko has an exuberance for life and a joy that seems endless. She lives happily in our fenced back yard. She runs enthusiastically around the yard chasing any bird who would dare to land in her territory. Her bark is deep and loud leading a listener to assume that the dog in our yard is a very large and a very ferocious guard dog. Aiko takes her role of protector of the family in all seriousness and not a sound or a movement in the neighbourhood escapes her attentive ears. Aiko is courageous and daring, having once chased a would-be thief, clear through our yard in the pitch dark of night, as he hastily scrambled to climb another fence away from her snapping jaws. Yes, Aiko is brave and heroic. 

Aiko, however, has one fear. It is the fear of the unknown world outside the back yard. One very windy, spring day, strong gusts pushed against our cream coloured side gates which had not been securely fastened, rattling them back and forth with a series of clanks. Suddenly the gates burst open, much to the wondering eyes of Aiko. Aiko’s moment of opportunity had come and with the desire for adventure she sallied forth from our yard. Down our pebbled driveway she raced, out onto the tarred road she sprinted. She glanced to the left and to the right unable to decide in her moment of haste as to the best direction to dash. Suddenly, she came to her senses, and realised she was on the alone and on the outside of her back yard in a territory unfamiliar to her. Fear gripped her and in a panic Aiko tore up a neighbour’s driveway and through an open wooden gate to the very back of her yard. She bolted for cover behind a large garden shed and there she hid, shaking in fear. 

I was out at the time of Aiko’s valiant escape, but a friend who lived next door watched the entire procedure and knew Aiko had ensconced herself in another neighbour’s yard. Upon arriving home I was informed about Aiko’s flight and together my friend and I set out to locate her whereabouts. We looked all over the neighbour’s backyard, searching every corner, under bushes and shrubs and exploring high and low. All the time I was longingly calling Aiko’s name, with concern and worry growing at each unanswered cry. Finally my friend and I squeezed ourselves in behind the garden shed and there amongst the tangled growth of vines and weeds was Aiko, cowering and shaking in fear. No amount of coaxing her in tones of tenderness would make her budge. Into that twisted and interlaced undergrowth I pressed. The closer I came to Aiko the more she backed away in terror from me, her rescuer. Slowly she struggled away from me step by step through the undergrowth until she found herself squarely in the arms of my friend. In relief I raced to hug and hold my fear filled dog. In great joy I carried her home and placed her safely back in her own back yard. With tail wagging in delight, Aiko darted and raced with exhilaration around her own familiar and comforting territory once more. 

This incident was almost entirely forgotten until this week. Every time I garden in our back yard and I need to open the gates to enter our front yard I have always placed Akio  securely on her chain. However, this week I forgot. I briskly crossed the yard and abruptly flung open the gates as I strode through them. Aiko was trotting cheerfully behind me until she reached the gates. There she simply stopped. Aiko would continue no further. The fear of what was on the other side of those gates was still firmly in her mind. Aiko had become a prisoner in her own back yard, by choice.

It made me stop and wonder. Was I a prisoner too, by choice? Do I stay in my own well known territory, fearful of stepping out of my comfort zone? Is God calling me to something that is unfamiliar? Does He want me to gain new skills, grow in new areas? Do I resist God’s leading and remain a prisoner to familiarity through fear?

Josh 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Deut 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Phil 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Drawn By Love

Drawn By Love

In our family we have an assortment of extra friendly pets of which two of them are dogs. Emma is our gentle, soft and tender hearted dog. Her long white fur flops sadly over her eyes beside her drooping ears giving her an even more heart wrenching gaze from her liquid brown eyes. Emma is a maltese cross papillon, boasting a fluffy white coat, a feathery tail  that curls up and over her body, seeming to disappear and a yap that is loud and piercing. Emma is a house dog. She simply could never think of living life outside like an ordinary dog. Instead her life is one of regal repose curled up on a cushy lounge chair or on my  comfortable bed and at meal times she places herself securely beside me, waiting patiently for me to kindly share my meal with her. She truly has a life of comfort and ease. 

Aiko on the other hand is an exuberant outside dog. She is a fox terrier with coarse short fur and floppy black ears that surround a face of loving adoration as she looks up at me.  As much as she loves to slip inside at any given opportunity, she can never find herself dozing nobly in delicate quietude. Instead, she flings herself crazily at the pace of a race horse around the living room, leaping from lounge chair to lounge chair and hurtling herself up the hallway to jump all over the bed like a naughty child. Yes, Aiko is an outside dog.

Several times a day I place Emma in the back yard where she quickly does her business and then runs rapidly to the back door again, banging with her paw to be let inside. Occasionally she enjoys sniffing leisurely around the fence line and exploring the yard. Aiko is always entirely delighted to have her presence in the yard and immediately sets out to motivate Emma to play with her. Aiko’s form of encouragement however, makes Emma’s life rather miserable. Aiko, being slightly taller than Emma, can see that tempting tufted tail hidden away in a curl over her back and the desire to pull that tail overpowers Aiko frequently. In her eagerness to force Emma to play with her, Aiko, enthusiastically grabs Emma’s tail between her teeth and pulls. She pulls hard. She pulls so hard she actually has Emma running  frantically backwards around the yard, twisting and turning in horror as she looks upon Aiko’s clenched teeth around the end of her tail. Aiko’s idea of encouragement is to use force. She will make Emma play with her. Eventually Aiko lets go, sometimes Emma will then play with her and other times Emma will whisk her tail away from those snapping teeth and make haste to the back door only to find Aiko outrunning her and grabbing her tail once more. 

The joy of each other’s company is eclipsed through force. Aiko deliberately coerces Emma to play with her by using simple brute strength. Under duress Emma is pressed to chase and romp merrily around the yard. The compulsion over rides any choice on Emma’s side to desire to join in with a happy doggy game.

How often I have misunderstood God’s character and thought of Him as a God of force. Does God make me good through compulsion? Does God coerce me to spend time with Him? The Bible tells me God is love (1 John 4:8) . Love is about freedom. Freedom to choose, whether those choices are right or wrong, good or bad, we have the freedom to choose. There are consequences to what we choose but we have that complete freedom to choose. In love there is no force or coercion or else it would not be love. Instead, God draws us with the desire for His love. In the depths of our heart we have an empty place just for Him, we have a soul hunger that responds only to His drawing love.

Ecc 3:11 “He has put eternity into man’s heart..”

Jer 31:3 “The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.”

1 Cor 13:5 “It (love)  does not insist on its own way.”

Will I stop resisting the longing of God in my heart and and allow Him to draw me with a love that is indescribable, to enjoy the rapturous delights of being in a loving relationship with Him that stretches from now throughout all eternity?

Rev 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.